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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tuesday...mostly asleep but with hope in my heart

So, went to the Dr. yesterday, got blood drawn, and went over my issues with the panic attacks. The nice Dr. recommended a therapist in the area, which I will make an appt soon with, probably in the next month or so. She also put me on a low dose fluoxitine, aka prozac.  I was pretty amped up before and during the apt so it came as no surprise that after dinner and a handful of hours later I was puking. I puke when I get nervous, it's a well established fact, I puked the first day of 7th grade, I puked the day I was supposed to start a telemarketing job I was dreading...I just get really nervous. So, last night sucked, dinner and company were outstanding, but later my body was wiped. Plus, the new medication is something to get used to. Because I got ill I had a headache and all that I had in the house were NSAIDs, which don't work with fluoxitine, it can give you stomach ulcers, and I've seen what that can do. A few years back my dad had been recommended Aleve for his bad back and so he started popping them like candy and gave himself 3 bleeding ulcers, he had to be air-vacc'd to Tucson via helicopter. It was scary, we almost lost him. I plan to avoid bleeding ulcers if possible. However, it meant I had a screaming headache all night and well into this morning, and was awake most of the night and this morning. I've however managed to take a walk with Walter and after a few tries we found Tylenol, blessed Tylenol, which doesn't interfere with the meds. After some sleep and warm tortillas slathered in butter, I feel better.
So, according to the Doctor, I will try out the meds for the next week or 2 and then I go back in to be re-evaluated and for my annual girlie appointment, which I'm dreading. But, it is better to get this all out of the way now as opposed to waiting for something dreadful to happen. I should have my blood panel back by then, which will hopefully come back okay. I know I'm overweight so it's possible my cholesterol will suck eggs and I might be pre-diabetic, but that's the worst I'm expecting. If I start to lose weight and eat more oatmeal I should get that under control. Hopefully the fluoxitine will help me feel more comfortable getting out and about and less freaked about having the panic attacks.
It's weird. I spent a lot of my youth being afraid I would institutionalized and medicated, after all, I'd had more than one friend have exactly that happen. I thought I saw their personalities diminish...but I think I may have not known the whole story. When I worked for a guardianship company up here we had a number of clients who were medicated and if there was one thing I learned, meds have to be adjusted. They're not always the right meds or the right dose, sometimes it's a matter of trial and error, and sometimes meds don't have to be meds for life. In conjunction with therapy you can get better, to the point were you don't need the meds. Later in my life I met up with the friends of mine who'd been medicated and institutionalized, and they were happy, and not medicated anymore, they just needed that boost, for that period of time. Sometimes we all just need that leg up. That extra helping hand.
Here's to hoping.
Wish me luck!

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