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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

night full of nightmares

Woke up this morning after a night of nightmares. I really hate nightmares. I'm not a lucid dreamer, someone who can realize they're dreaming while dreaming. I don't do that, I usually feel that I am in the dream. Very rarely do I have lucid moments while I'm dreaming. Last night's nightmares hit close to home and were particularly sucky. Coffee and kitty love helps in the morning though. I'm doing better and little more present.
However, the bad news just keeps coming. I learned I've broken an important red tape deadline and may have lost the help I was getting. Which may mean I'll have to do all the red tape over again. Which is frustrating. I haven't been very good lately at keeping track of things going on in my life, especially paperwork. Like I've said, my concentration is just gone. I've had to do everything in my life little bit by little bit. No long hours spent doing one thing only. 10 minutes here, 5 minutes there. It's weird and frustrating.
Honestly all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep all day. I really had to push to leave the bed this morning. I often feel that way after a night full of nightmares. All I want to do is sleep and cry.
I'm out of bed though and going to get something accomplished today, even if it's something small.

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